A GREATER DESIRE FOR 2015 . . . .

I have been reading this a lot and have been applying this in my life now. It is working. . . Praise God! 

The first thing that I have come to realize is that I don't have control on any situations in my life. I am realizing that I am a control freak. I am learning to Let go of the things I have no control over and letting God take care of it. The things that God is allowing me to change I will work on it with his help and open myself to different things that He desires me to experience. I am not good with change. This whole year has been about change for me.  I saw it as a bad thing in the beginning, now I see it as a time of growing. I do not know where God is taking me, but where ever it is, it's a good place. I'm trusting in Him to get me their.

Father God,

I know that you are with me and no matter how bleak the skies may

look, how dark the nights may get, I know that you are here with me.

I surrender to your will Lord. . .trusting you every day.  Believing always in

your infinite power.

In Jesus Name.  .  .

Amen !

I NEED YOU LORD GOD . . . .

Father God.  .  .

A part of me wanted to write tonight and a very
great part of me did not. We are entering into a new year very soon. Instead of embracing that fact, I found myself having a  set back this afternoon. I don't  want to go through the ups and downs with my emotions in the New Year. It's wearing me down.

I've spent majority of the year 2014 hurting so deep inside, trying to allow you to heal me inside and out, bending to the will of others, and just barely existing from day to day.

I am so faint from the road blocks in my life. How does one get through it?

I am so tired of crying, hurting mentally and physically , depending on others, and being so unhappy.

Every so often a dread comes over me and I shudder from the fear of the unknown. .  .  . depending soaringly on You God. That is all that I can do.

Only you know where my mind travels sometimes. It scares  me so much. You know what I need Lord and I ask that you come speedily. . .I need You . . .

 Amen !   

LIVING OR NOT LIVING . . .?

Good Morning World. . .

They say it's cold outside with rain and possibly sleet on the way. I welcome it today. It's good resting and sleeping weather.

So many thoughts lately. One thought his am I living or not living?

In some instances, I found myself waiting. Waiting for resources, waiting for the healing to be completed in my life. waiting to get my own place to stay. Waiting, waiting, waiting (smile). 

Does it matter? Yes, but I have no control over my circumstances.  I am realizing that I never had the control now or never. I'm just realizing that God has always had the control. Before my marriage, during my marriage, and even now, after my marriage. 

Whatever control I thought I had. . . (greater word or words to remember . . .I thought) God has shown me that He knows what is better for me. To be honest, I don't have the slightest Idea what is better for me. . .except one thing.. .. My husband's leaving me was the best thing for me. A very huge mistake that I made.

Healing has been so hard. Getting back on my feet has been so hard.  

The Lord will get me there. I count on that and I know in my heart that He will, but for now..  ..just let me cry, because it's part of my healing. If you see me starring into space, just let me do that, because I am looking to see or hear a word from God. I am learning patience and speaking to the Lord from my heart.

Most of all. . .I am healing inside out.

Thank You Lord

Veronica