AWAITING 2010. . .AS 2009 IS SOON TO END. . .

The year of 2009 is ending in a matter of days. I speak for myself and maybe a few others. . . 2009 has been a very full year with so many bad things taking place, but oooh so many memorable good things that were granted.

This year in 2009, my son married a very wonderful woman. Not so many mothers can honestly say they love their daughter-in- law, but by the Grace of God I can say that I love mine. She's fantastic and a match for my son. He's blessed and she is too to have each other.

And in my own personal life. . . I married in March of this year. I married a wonderful, loving, giving, and supportive man. I never in a million years figured that I would get married. I waited until a few months before my 50th birthday and married. Yea and it's not easy to adjust when you wait so long. You are more settled in your age and somewhat difficult to change those ways. I guess because a certain formula has worked for so long and my life consisted of God, my son, and myself. I have been blessed with so much and to marry means to share lol lol. It ain't easy, but the both of us are adjusting and although we love one another, we realize that love is not the only key element in marriage. God is the only key element and the only one that counts if you want it to work.

This time last year my father was very sick and we thought that we would loose him. He has fought a good battle and doing well. He may out live the rest of his family. He's God's miracle. Anyone who knows his story will say the same.

If the Lord tarries, we will be having my step-daughter with us a lot for 2010. I am longing to be in the mist of this. I feel like I know her already. My husband has talked so much about her that I feel that I already know everything I need to know about her. As far as I am concerned, I birthed this wonderful child who looks so much like her father. She's all mine already:).

I did not do as well in school as I thought I would do, but January will tell a different story. I promised myself that I will be ready and put forth a greater effort in my studies. I am so close to getting this degree and I will not stop until I do.

So I ask, what are your plans for 2010? Have you evaluated your life as we near the end of '09? If you haven't given thought to your future, do so now. Analysis your short comings and claim a growth in them. Analysis your stronger points and claim a more efficient way to display them, but most of all, look yourself in the mirror as I have, remove the mask and say to yourself:

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Psalm: 139:14

God created us. He loves us in spite of all our shortcomings, He knows us inside and out. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Every intricate part of our lives is no mystery to Him, but it is a mystery to us. If you know anything about the human body, you will realize that man can not comprehend how our bodies truly functions.

What is not beautiful to others when it comes to ourselves, is beautiful to God. . .the maker of all mankind. That is all that matters to me. I Praise Him for His Glory. I Praise Him for just being God, I Praise Him for all things . . . . especially for His Loving Kindness and his Mercy.

Have a wonderful 2010 and may the Grace of our Lord rest, rule, and abide in you always. . .

Happy Holidays
Happy New Year
and remember that
Jesus Is The Reason For The Season!

Love you Vee

TRIALS . . . TRIALS . . . TRIALS!

So many times I ask myself how did I come to a particular place:). I've discovered that there are no answers to my own question(s). But I am assured that my Heavenly Father knows the true answers to what I don't know, what I don't want to face, or admit. Life has it's ups and it has it downs. I've been through more downs within the last year than I care to remember.

I found myself asking God at one time "Where are You?" It felt as though He had left me in the face of my greatest trials. It was my moment of panic. After that moment of grief and clarity has set in. . .my answer to my own question was He has been with you through it all.

He has not left me. My trials now are but a moment. I think that I am growing through it all. Leaning so much on God who has been my anchor through this never ending storm.

Lord . . . What purpose is all of this in my life? My life has been tossed to and fro and I do not understand why. I can not understand at all why I am going through this. Trusting You is all that I can do. Relinquishing the situation to you is so very hard.

Don't leave me Lord! Guide me Lord! I am getting so weary. I need that extra measure of strength Lord and I need Your presence round about me. The enemy seeks to destroy my husband and me. Continue to cover us Lord. I ask that You protect my husband and not let the enemy have him.

Let the meditations of my heart be acceptable oh Lord my Strength and my Redeemer. Help me to live a life pleasing and acceptable to you, a living testimony of your presence in my life.

Your Daughter and Servant
Veronica

THE ANSWERS TO LIFES PROBLEMS IS THE LORD . . .

It's been a long time since I've blogged.
Been keeping a lot of things inside myself and praying wholeheartedly to the Lord about a lot of situations that have entered my life. So, so many things that I am learning since the last blog.

The old saying goes: The grass is always greener on the other side. I beg the differ. There is no green on the other side. In this world, one can be fooled and what may glitter is not always gold. Trust me.

Satan presents himself boldly into your life; always painting a picture that you want to see. The glory of it all is that God exposes Satan's tricks and it is never too late to close shop in hell and join the living just waiting for you in some form of heaven that you can hold onto while you journey here on this earth.

What is quickly gotten into is not always easy to get out of. It takes prayer, a plan from God, and patience in everything. How Wonderful Is Thy Name . . . Jesus my Savior, my Redeemer, my Everything.

The most important part is to stay focus. Never loose hope and never give up in what you believe. I believe in the Lord . . . The Great I AM! That is all that one can do when the storms of life brew heavy in the southern, northern, western, and eastern sides in your life. Stay Positive and stay prayerful. I promise you that in doing that . . . . it brings about a change and a peace to your life. One that only God can give to you:

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The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

I am forever grateful of this Psalms. Each word means so much. I was expressing to my neighbor on the other day that we are lost without God. We make such a mess of things when we don't consult with Him about any and every detail of our lives. I compared us to sheep. The sheep runs here and there and it takes the Shepherd to direct us back into the fold. When sheep wonder it sets itself up to be slaughtered by any suspected prey waiting for a tasty meal, but the Shepard protects the sheep. He keeps an eye out for the prey that seeks a tasty meal and he directs the sheep out of harms way. Know this . . . We have free will to roam and in doing that we do become vulnerable to the prey.

That is what happened to me. I strayed away on my own, leaving the protection of the Shepherd and ran into a roaring lion that is seeking to devour me. OH BUT I KNOW A MAN who says come back to my protection, admit your mistakes to me, and I will see you through!

My friends . . . I bow my head in humility. I have admitted my mistakes, I have ran back to the Shepherd quickly, and I wait patiently on MY GOD to see me through!

VEE

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LOVE. . . . .

Yesterday I thought about the word LOVE and wondered if the Webster's Dictionary fully described this awesome but complicated word. I don't think so.

Webster says first that it is the fatherly concern that God has for mankind. Yes. . . but, still complicated. Why? Everyone is not capable of feeling that description. Not even some Christians.

Next it says a warm attraction between two. Hummmmm. Still not a full description. A sexual attraction between two. I am not sexually attracted to everyone I claim to love. Very confusing definition.

You can't describe the word Love (my opinion). It's an emotion that is and can be overwhelming, indescribable (surpassing any description), and complicated. I guess that is why we continuously use the word so loosely.

A test. Ask your spouse to give you their definition of the word love (they may start out saying "gee I don't know honey" lol). Listen closely to their description and last ask them why do they love you (they may start out by saying it like this. . ."Weeelllllll I love you because. . ." hummmmm lol lol). Ah don't get upset or scared from their description. It dosen't mean that they don't love you. The point is to view the word from another point of view (smile).

Now you may say "wonder how Vee views the word?" I just did previously (it is an emotion that is confusing, indescribable, and overwhelming.), but I will also describe it as unconditional (not limited to, no conditions to). The word love varies from situation to situation, for one person to another, and unconditionally.

I've also learned that you may truly love someone, but hate their actions, some ways about them, or etc. . . We may sometime feel that we hate that person, but we don't. We hate the things about them and what they do. To some that is complicated, but we have to realize that we are not perfect ourselves. My husband once said to me, Baby I love you with all my heart, but I hate that you do this, that, and the other. Defensive me said "yea and I hate you too lol lol" Later when I was fuming to myself. . . I settled down and thought. . . .He never said he hated me. He said he hated some of my actions. I apologized later and felt awful about saying those words to him. I'm getting there.

So now we are learning to think before we say and I'm learning not to be so defensive. Everyone is not out to get me lol lol. I have a strong demanding voice that can get loud when I am angry or excited. I'm learning to turn it down a notch or 2 lol lol. We are learning that it is not always about ourselves now, but about the respect for each other, compromising, and maintaining what we have and growing on it. We now have time out corners in the house lol lol (we made sure that we have TVs in those rooms lol lol). Actions of the word love.

I'm trying to put to use what I am learning with him and with others. My hope is that he is trying to put to use what he is learning with me and with others.

It's never to late to learn. I will be 50 this summer and find myself learning a whole lot that I thought I already knew. Speaking for myself . . . . I think I know everything (smile). I don't. What I do know (which is a lot smile) and have obtained is wisdom from God. It has been taught through harsh and enlightening experiences in my life that was, is, and will be ordained by God the father for his use for me in his Kingdom.

I never share anything that has not happened to me. Trust me. . . . some things that I have learned and experience has been harsh through my life and I don't wish that anyone should, could, or have to go through. This is true in anyones life. There are things that you have learned and experience that I would not wish on my worst enemy. There lies the words life and living lol lol. The intricate parts of our journey on Earth.

I've cried so many nights and days asking God "Why me. Why do I have to go through this or that, or why the pain." Each time He spoke to my spirit He asked me "Why not you?" He takes my mind back to the scripture describing the Death of Jesus. His hurts were deeper than mine. He bored the hurts of all mankind. His pain was far worst than any pain that I would be able to endure. Once again it was bored for all mankind. When God shows me that, I have to stop crying and stop complaining, because not only did he bare that for me. . .He added that extra ordinary thing called love (that word again) that has a healing affect and effect to my life.

Yes! I am a WHINER ! Note the capitalization! God is teaching me to cut the WHINING out of my life. I've gotten so bad with it that my husband rolls his eyes and walks away. Females lol lol. . .it only works for a little while. Humans get tire of the whining before God does. When God's tired of it (which takes a long time for him to chastise you about it) it's old lol lol. My husband likes the direct approach and I've gone cold turkey with the whining and putting it out on the table with out the sugar coating on it. That is what God demands of us. To be bold with fire, BUT, with a very loving touch to it. . .the same way that He is with us. My Friends. . . .That is one of the true essence of the word LOVE.

Now I am looking at so many things in a different light, including the word LOVE. I'm loving God first, myself second and all others thereafter. My life is getting richer for it and the love. . .although it is is complicated to describe, I am describing it through my walk. I don't have to describe the word any more, I'm showing it. Actions will always speak louder than any words.

Describing Love will always be difficult. The Lord understand this. That is why he tells us that if we love him, we will keep his commandments.

Vee

REVELATION. . . .

We have been having some wonderful weather. I was thinking an Early Spring, but reality checked in while listening to the Weather Station. We are slowly creeping back into colder weather. I notice the gas prices yesterday. Hummmmm. The prices are slowly creeping back up, but somethings never last forever. We just have to enjoy those things as it is given to us and prepare while the season is ripe in our favor.
Solomon was dead on when he said "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." We have to be wise and prepare during our harvest time (when things are plentiful to us).

During my meditation time this morning, I said to the Lord "I'm happy Lord regardless of all the things going on in my life, but there's still a sadness and a hurting inside me. I just keep moving on knowing that my season will come." I wondered to myself if Jesus was ever happy during his time on earth. The revelation that I received was that we are made in the same image of God. Although Jesus was happy in doing what God knew he had to do for us (which was his happiness), He was also sadden and hurt by the actions of man kind. Well, the Lord has a very unusual way of bringing things to you lol lol. If we think about the words of Solomon, it doesn't always mean stepping into a material blessings after a financial setback or a deliverance from situations in our lives. It can mean finishing the race (our journey) here on earth and resting in the arms of the Lord until the trumpet sounds to rise.

Has anyone ever taken note that when God intervenes he finalizes his deliverance's for us? Sure we can walk back into a situation again, but even then it's finalized by Him once again in another way, but ending in the same result. It depends upon the way we enter into our situations and how He has to bring us out each time. Just a thought. . . and taking note how God treats each one of us uniquely because our situations, lives, personalities, and etc. . . are different from each other. Hmmmmmmm?? Finish means final and that is alright with me.

Well I've asked God to do a lot of things for me. I prayed about certain things in my life continuously. I've gotten to the point that I can not pray aboutthem any more. When I started to whine to him once again (smile) I couldn't do it. I found myself just say THANK YOU LORD! THANK YOU!

There are just so many things in our lives that are too much and too big to carry. Those things will suck the life out of you. The burdens are so heavy that you literally wear them on your face, your posture, and in your body. Those are the things that suck you dry, drains your spirit, and interrupts your focuses. I've carried my burdens too too long. Last night I gave them to the Lord.

Father God. . .forgive me for caring my burdens too too long. I should have given them to you a long time ago. I should have trusted you and had faith in your judgment on so many things. Forgive me. You said on last night that you've heard my cries and you have witness me trying to battle them on my own. Thank you for your deliverance. Thank you for showing me that my burdens are too big for me. These burdens were a spiritual battle. You only required me to believe and have faith that you were working my situations to an ending and closing the chapter on them. Thank You and I give the Glory to only You.

Vee

DREAMS. . .

It's been a lot of things going on since the start of the New Year. Family illnesses, financial setbacks and gains, spouse acting crazy, and it goes on and on, but I know who can still the seas when it threatens my small boat, I know who can part the red sea when the enemy rides up to trap me, and I know who is in control of my life. . . .so I pray, let go and let God.

My late Bishop use to tell his Congregation that Prayer goes where God goes and that's everywhere. Pray moves the hand that moves the world. God hands are not shorten (Good teaching Bishop).

Sometimes it's hard to do that, but I have learned that I only defeat the purpose when I try to handle anything myself. It's that carnal part of us that thrives on control. We often make our own battles within ourselves when we pray about things and continue to try and resolve things ourselves. Somethings are just to big for me to try and resolve. So I try harder each time to let go and let God. Especially when I profess that God is the author and finisher of my fate. Everyone should know and just don't realize that we set ourselves up for satan to give us pure hell when we profess that. He's just doing his job, but I have to remember each time that it's only a test- - -imony to my faith in God. He has to gain permission to get to me, But when I focus on God. . . . When I look beyond the rainbow. . .my deliverances and my blessings await me. That's what keeps me going!

It is finally sinking in and I am learning that I should never stop dreaming. Dreams are part our my hopes and some of my desires. Those things are often my secret prayers to God. He's still very much into correcting my blunders when I have admitted to him my mistakes regardless of how big or small. The Lord is still very much into stopping the designs of the enemy. He is very much into delivering me from myself and the last time I checked the word of God. . .He said that He is very much into the the Spirit of Blessing. As looooooong as I belong to Him. . . .I know that everything- - - - will be alright.

David said that He had never seen God's seed forsaken or His seed begging for bread. Everytime I meditate on that scripture. . .It thrills me. As bad as the economy has become He has prepared a way for all of us who know him to survive. We may go down but we ain't out. If you think about it. . .you've never had to wonder where the next help will come from because he brings whatever you need to your front door.

So if you are having problems, let go and Let God. Love yourselves by loving God first. Ask Him to show you YOU! I must warn you. . . .When He shows you who you really are. . .you may not like what you learn about yourselves. It can be ugly. The best part is that once you know. . . .He'll direct you on how to create a more beautiful you and that is when loving yourself will come into play.

God Bless
Vee

A NEW YEAR IS UPON US. . . .

Here we are once again with a New Year upon us. Once again, I haven't made any New Year Resolutions. I just started earlier in the year making some changes in my life and determining that I will carry my changes through the rest of my life.

I've been trying to stand firm on certain issues in my life with myself and others who are directly involved with me. A lot of people take kindnesses for weaknesses. My kindness has run out. During my meditation time it was brought to my attention that What is not straight in 2008 must be left behind in 2009.

I am finding that you can't change people. Significant events in ones life will create a change for the better or for the worst for them. I am almost 50 and that fact has finally registered in my mind.

I've made a lot of mistakes in 2008. Big ones:)! The ones that shake you to the core, but I've learned some very valuable lessons from those mistakes and the only thing that I or anyone can do in them is pray, let go, and let God.

My husband and I was watching a TV show and this woman was talking about certain steps that one can take to get pass anything between two individuals with misunderstandings. One step is a 72 hour rule. After an event happens that is not suitable to you, you have 72 hrs to clear it up. After 72 hours it becomes the past. Move forward and don't mention it again. LOL. My husband said that we should really try this and we have been working on it. I am often one to wait how ever long it takes for a chance to bring it back around and say "like the time when you. . . ." LOL LOL.

We are trying to never make promises that we can't keep. It is often best to say I will try and give it all we have because we as humans are incapable of keeping promises. That's why God does not require us to promise anything. He does the promising. And one of the biggest rule that we're "trying" to work on is to become more faithful in a few things so that God can make us rulers over many; understanding that God is not just talking about material things. He is also talking about a full and rich relationship with Him first, with each other, our spiritual gifts, and our responsibility with church and family, etc. .

I want to be a wise and faithful servant to my Lord and Master. I know that I can be if I put my foot forward more than I did in 2008. For every day that God gives life to me, I want to take the new day to get things right, forgetting yesterday because it's behind me. I know it won't be easy, but God is my Pilot and my plane will always land smoothly when I follow Him.

Loving you all and I wish everyone a Joyous, Prosperous 2009!

Vee