HOW WONDERFUL YOU ARE. . .

A little over twenty years ago, on my way to destruction, I met a man who didn't care that my life was less than perfect. He took me under his wings and asked me to come to him because I was weary and heavy with burdens. His promise was to give me rest and when I submitted to Him . . . tired, beaten down, used, and lonely, He comforted me. He gave to me a new life with great promises that are so much beautiful than what this world had to offer me.

Never once has He forsaken me. Never once has He not shield me. Never once has He been a disappointment to me. He gave me strength when I was weak. He increased my faith with trials, and He gave to me gifts to protect me from the evil of this world.

God My Heavenly Father . . . . I THANK YOU!

On Friday, November 28th, my father became very sick. He was taken by ambulance to the Trauma Unit at Cape Fear Valley Hospital. The doctors did not give him but 24 hrs. to live. As I stood by his bedside with prayers fervently asking God to move the death angel from him, my heart was shattered to think that I could possibly loose another parent around the same time I lost my mother. I asked God that if it was his will to take my father home, allow him to open his eyes one more time. My desire was to tell him for the last time how very much I love him. God answered my prayer and he opened his eyes. Daddy I love you and he said I love you too.

It has been one week and four days and my father is still with me. Today he is cognitive, watching the movement of every one, and watching his favorite TV show Joe Brown. Although he is not completely out of the woods, he is considered a miracle patient. Prayer changes things. Prayer moves the hands that moves the world. Prayer is the answer to all of our solutions.

If I had not met this very special man on the road to destruction, I would have not been able to turn my face to God and leave it in his hands. I would not have had the faith to know that all things work together for the good of those who love him and called according to his purpose. I would not have felt the peace that surrounded me, knowing that God is in control. Never would I have understood how very important it is to honoring your mother and father the correct way.

If God chooses to take him home, I know for a fact that during my father's sleep state through the week, God has been speaking to him and what ever my father and the Lord has discussed during that time, has been good, because God's Glory is showing on his face. It is surrounding him and he is at peace.

Heavenly Father, My Redeemer, the Lord of My Life. . . .I thank you for your mercy, your grace, and the remembrance of me in my time of need. I am learning the greater depth of you and I thank you for showing it to me each day. As I think of you and pray in my heart, I can glance what Issiah saw in the spirit: You. . . sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up. There are no words that can express how wonderful and glorious you are. No words can express the depth of your forgiving heart and the love you show me each day. Thank you for calling me into your loving arms and giving me rest. Thank you for showing me favor and thank you for the host of friends that you have surrounded me with. I can never make it without you Lord. I've learned that there is no greater love than you. You have given your life for me and bore the stripes for everything in my life. I thank you, I give honor to you, and most of all . . . I love you. I know that as you allow me to continue my journey on this earth you will continue to walk before me . . . clearing the way and carrying me when I become weary. You've promised me that and I thank you for that promise. Whatever I may have to face, I know that I will not have to face it alone for you are with me. You promised that your rod and staff will comfort me all the days of my life. Thank you. . . .

Your Servant and Your Daughter . . . .
Vee

IN LOVING MEMORY . . . .

For those who know me, You may have often heard me talk about time and how precious it is. I've had my reasons for feeling very strongly about that particular topic.

I met a very wonderful man on the website Blackplanet in 2001 LOL LOL yes, I've traveled that particular site for many years off and on, but through my travels, I had the very good fortune of meeting some dynamic people. One of them is this man in the photo John W. Small Jr. :).

We maintained a very good friendship for many years, always leaning on each other when times were hard and laughing at ourselves when later our hard times seemed trivial after we had overcame our trials.

My best friend left this world to be with our Heavenly Father on September 12, 2007.

I miss you John. I can't call you any more and tell you all of my secrets. You knew that I had trust issues and you became the person that I trusted most. You never failed me as a friend and I pray that I was the same for you. Often when we talked I knew that you were in great pain, but you never complained, you never focused on yourself. You always worried about the ones around you and you humbly guarded each person you were close to. You were unselfish in your acts always. I admired you for having that unselfish heart. I count it an honor to have known you and a privilege to be counted as your friend and I valued every moment of our friendship.

You would always say that time stands still for no man, but in this case, I wish that I could still all times to have you and so many of my other friends with me. I know that you would be disappointed in me for wishing that. It is a selfish wish because right now . . .you are in a better place. I know that when I reach the other side you will be there laughing, rejoicing and asking me what took me so long LOL LOL and as always I would say to you . . . forgive me cause you know that I am slow like that LOL LOL. As you would always say . . . "Here's looking in the mirror . . .Take off the Mask!"

Thank you so much for being my friend.
I Love You . . .
Veronica

A BLAST FROM THE PAST . . . .

Sometimes memories will sneak up on you reminding you of your past. It may be a song, a word, a picture, or a smell that may take you back to times that you thought were long forgotten. For me, it was an old Eric Clapton CD (Pilgrim) that sent me back remembering and actually enjoying those thoughts.

House Parties with scrolling lights, disco music, Thunderbird Wine, and so much marijuana floating around that when you talked after smoking it . . . you sounded like Elmer Fudd lol lol.

The music also took me back to where drive-in movies were the thing. Hiding in the trunk of cars to keep from paying out a lot of money to view a movie (smile).

Better yet . . . hanging on the street corner at night shooting the breeze while bombed out of your mind (smile). It's funny now that I think about how being high made you think you were some intellectual being lol lol. Remembering but also thanking Lord that my life is no longer like that. His Grace and Mercy was with me during those times. Most of the people that I ran with are no longer here. I praise God for allowing me to have one more day, month, and year to honor Him in all His Glory!

God Bless. . .
Vee

TAKE OFF THE MASK!

When we are often placed in a difficult situation and alone with our own thoughts, things often become clear. What we think we know . . . we don't. What we think we understand . . . is left a mystery to us. I do not pretend to understand how the human mind works or why people do the things that they do, but I've discovered that people don't often know themselves. I would not say that every person has a hidden agenda, but I will say that some do.

Within the last few weeks I've been pondering, praying, and seeking answers to so many things. For those of you who know Christ . . . we understand that all answers that we seek . . . He gives to us. He won't always paint a pretty picture for you, but he gives to you truth, which at some point or another in your life is less than a pretty picture on an expensive canvas.

But at the same time, I've also discovered that people are not clueless of every situation facing them. Deep inside we know the answers to most questions. We deal in the one thing that keeps us going and that is in the hope of everything that we face. For everyone that has a hope . . .always realize that your hopes are never dumb, naive, or wasteful. If that were the case, our hope that Christ will return would be unfounded. Hope liberates you, it consoles you, and most of all it makes you human and capable to enjoy what life has to offer you.

Allan K. Chalmers once said that "The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." No one is ever happy doing nothing. We can't achieve doing nothing. To not love is being disconnected from the world, and if we loose hope, we go about life without any expectations; never anticipating any beauty that life has to offer us. I don't know about you, but I want to live my life always hoping, always loving, always forgiving, and always knowing that there is beauty in what I feel, do, and know.

So in my search for some answers during my time of agony (smile) I have discovered that I do not live behind a mask. I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE. I'm not afraid to hope, I am not afraid to love, and I am free to be me. I am okay, life is so wonderful and I will survive in knowing the God's love is more powerful than any love that I have been searching for. Love is not an exchange. It's an acceptance. There is never a hidden agenda to it. It's pure and most of all it starts first inside of ones self.

God Bless
Vee

LIFE IS WONDERFUL. . . .

Sometimes, we don't realize that what we often desire is right in front of us. Waiting to be recognized, waiting to be acknowledged, waiting hopefully for you to know in your heart that all can be wonderful in the world if only you can see it for yourself.

My friends, please do not let it be a life time. . . when all is ending before you. . .when your life flashes before your minds eyes. . . .and your last thoughts are what you could have done, how and whom you could have loved, and what you could have accomplished . . ."If Only . . . " are words often wasted on a death bed . . . when at the end . . . your life becomes a remembrance to those who once knew you!

Life is wonderful! Grab hold to it and live it as if tomorrow will never exist. You owe it to God, to yourself, and those around you.

God Bless
Vee

A Picture Of Innocence . . .

Before I get started, I wanted to share this photo with you. It was sent in an e-mail message some time ago. I love photography and art. In this particular picture, someone used a CG Software to enhance it.

This is spectacular! The eyes are a haunting image of beauty. True innocence.

I listened to a dialogue yesterday that had me thinking about "We" as women:

"I have no feelings when I am with a man. I become the "Chamber Maid." I clean up to prepare, I leave, and when it is done, I come back in and clean up again."

You may not see that as a deep conversation, but I do. It is not hard for a woman to feel that way about a man regardless of what relationship status exist between them.

Husbands, boyfriends, lovers, or significant others. Whatever you may want to call your mate, somewhere in a woman's life, someone has felt that way. It may have started in ones childhood (I am a great believer in Sigmund Freud's Theories. . .there are some truths there) or you've been hurt by your mate which has left a scar deep inside your heart. A woman looses the innocence of love. When you get involved with another man, you strip your heart of love and that emotion becomes a need, your body a commodity and your desire to survive becomes your instinct.

And when I thought about this process, I said (please excuse my french) "damn! That is some serious stuff. That's heartless for both people and my heart goes out to you 'cause you will never be happy."

When I got home, I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. I picked up the phone and "I said I owe you an apology. Although life is not like that for me now, I've been there and I have felt that way. I myself have done that in my own past."

Deep emotional scars take a long time to heal. We have to remember that God and time will heal all wounds."

ALL ABOUT VEE

A lot of people ask me to tell them about myself. In this posting, I will attempt to do just that. Some may not like me much when I finish (don't care:)), but some of you want to know and I will tell you some of what one should know about me.

I speak what is on my mind, rather one may agree with what I say or not. I've long ago rid myself of wishing that I would have said this or said that. I may give you what is laid on my heart to tell you. On those particular time, it is not giving you my opinion. It is laid on my heart to tell you. If you dislike what I say, my suggestion is for you to take it up with GOD.

I deviate sharply from the social norm of things. I do not let styles, traditions, fads, or what someones opinion may be dictate how I dress, think, feel, or live. I answer to God first, my boss who signs my paycheck second, and family members who live in my home third. All others fall in line if and when I feel I should answer anyone (I can do that because I don't have a significant other:)).

I am a very quirky person. who firmly believes in morals first and then principles. If a person has morals. . .everything falls in place. Some believe in gray areas and people are in title to believe in what they choose to believe. I believe in black OR white. I have a choice and everyone else has choices, but one has to realize that if you chose the wrong you suffer consequences that sometimes wear you down. If you chose right, you reap a bountiful reward. In that statement, I do not see gray shaded areas. Again I say to you, if you have a problem with that. . . one must take the matter up with GOD (I love saying that).

I am very dependable, unselfish, respectful, giving, devoted, trustworthy, funny, crazy and sometimes a bit serious for my own good. If you become a friend to me, I am a friend for life. I live drama free, but I have issues that are day to day. Drama and issues are two different things. Read Mirriam- Webster if you do not agree. Some people go through life depending on what others say without doing research. Reading is Fundamental. It is the road map to everything one needs to know. Reading takes you places you may only dream to go. That includes reaping blessings, So please, read your bibles (can I get a holla from My Christian Family!)

And to the men:). I am a very romantic woman who loves completely when the right man gets my heart. There is nothing that is more beautiful than a man who is after God's own heart.

So that's enough about me. If you like, drop a note to me and tell me about you. I had no shame in telling and neither should you. We are who we are and since the Lord accepts you as you are. . so will I.

May the Lord Bless You and Keep You because no one else can.
Vee

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS. . . .

There are a lot of people who are celebrating a birthday this month and I am one of them. I am not one of those women who don't tell their age. I have all the reasons to tell my age and be proud of it. I've been told twice in my life time by Medical Professionals that I would not live to see 30, I've suffered with serious health issues that threaten my entire well being, and at the age of 16. . . I could not walk. I had to learn again to take one step in front of the other. Some of my so call friends laughed at me and said that I walked like Fred Sanford. Some of them are not here. They passed on before reaching their 30th birthday.

Saturday . . . July 14th, If the Lord terries and not call me home, I will be 48 years old. I owe it all to God for lengthening my years to continue my journey on Earth. I thank God for His Ever lasting Mercy.

No big plans have been made. I would actually be content to spend a quiet time alone, but that may not be what will happen.

I have finally had the opportunity to get a lot of things done before classes and work starts in August. I've painted the outside of the house, one bathroom, and my kitchen. I still have a ways to go before finishing.

Well to all the July Babies .. .. ..Happy Birthday! I pray that God continues to grant each and every one of us longer, healthier lives with great prosperity.

God Bless You!
Vee

EARLY MORNING RAMBLES

It's 1:10 in the morning and quiet. The only sound is the yahoo radio launch. I'm listening to classic soul and it's good. It's playing all the old goodies that I use to listen to when I was young. Just sitting here letting my mind go back to my high school days, young adult years. . .you know. . . when the times were free from responsibilities LOL. Those times that you felt would last forever. I keep smiling to myself at certain songs that either played in house parties, the AM and FM Radio Stations, and let us not forget the old turn style record players when 45 and albums were the thing.

I like this time in the morning when I'm able to plan my steps for day, for the future and so forth.

I've already started my to do list. I've almost completed the painting on the outside of the house. Early next month I'll start painting the inside. The color is picked. Can't do the different colors in each room, so I've picked a nice color to go throughout the house. I figure that the kitchen will be the first room. This weekend I'll start taking things off the wall and plugging up nail holes. I promised myself that I will not put all that junk back on my walls. Didn't realize I had accumulated that much junk.

Well I guess I will play some computer solitair before turning in. Everyone . . . please have a bless night. Until the next time. . .

A LITTLE OF THIS AND A LITTLE OF THAT

I often imagine wonder about things that others may consider crazy. I often wonder about the big assumptions that people have of others and what causes them to be ASSES in the mist of their assumptions. People are people no matter where we may go or where we may be. Go figure. It's a true saying that it takes many kinds to make a world whole (or however the wording is) is only the beginning of statements in the mist of so many others.

The year is not out and already it has been a long one for me. Job, school, health problems and much more have taken a great toll on me. I have this great fear that if I slow down in the things that I do, it may be the end of it all LOL LOL. Weird. . .but I feel that way. Yesterday after returning from a short trip to just get away, I had a disturbing call. A very good friend of mine was getting dress for work and a sharp pain pierced his arm. It was enough for him to go to the hospital. His Kidneys shut down on him. The doctors said that the blood pressure medication that they were giving him were too strong. What the Hell! I know that doctors are not perfect. . trust me I know. . .but wouldn't you think that the doctors are running test on his kidneys to find out if the meds are okay with his system?

This person means a lot to me and for something this serious to happen to him was just shocking. He never gets sick except for colds. It took me by surprise. I couldn't sleep last night just thinking about him and what he must be going through. I will be keeping him in deep prayer.

THOUGHTS FROM THE SOUL

It has been a while since posting onto this blog, but hey so much goes on in ones life that you have to let some things go. At least for a little while.

I've been up for a long time this morning reading assignments for my literature class. Must admit that this class is harder than the rest of my classes. I have so much reading that has to be done for Literature and I often get lazy about reading the information.

I took a moment to look out of my living room window. It is not often that one gets to view a sunrise, but this was not an ordinary sunrise this morning. It was actually an extra-ordinary one. Orange and silver streaks were piercing the sky. Beautiful. Just think, an early morning coffee, a book, and an excellent view of the sky in a quiet section of the house. You can't get any better than that (smile). Or can you?

Watching this very powerful image sent my mind racing on thoughts that I often try to keep at bay. I guess it's time for me to consider having a meaningful relationship, but with the right person. I've soul searched myself enough, I know what I want, and I know what I don't want (smile). Watching that awesome site gave me pause to think just how wonderful it would have been to see that sight with someone that you are romantically involved with. Sharing the most simple of pleasures that often are taken for granted. Soon. . .it will happen just when I least expect it to.

Letting go to just feel with someone that is trustworthy, understanding, not critical, and offering that same in return can be a wonderful thing. So often women are caught up on the material essence of life and love evades them. Men can often be the same. . . looking for physical attributes, or looking for that made to order woman on the Internet. That just won't get it. Perfection lays in the heart and that is of Christ. So I wait. . .for the man with a heart of Christ.

With that said . . . time to delve into the books again, making most of the morning so that my afternoon and evenings will be free.

God Bless
Vee