NEW BEGINNINGS - NEW ME !

Wow. . .it has been some time since blogging.  A lot of things have happened.  I now have a beautiful grandbaby,  a lovely daughter-n-law, my own place again, and wonderful old, but precious friends have entered back into my life. Oh yes, God has removed some too. I will be officially divorced in March. Ain't life grand? Yes! Lol. Sharing a quote from myself: "I stepped into the aybss. It has forever changed me; which IS better for my life".

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM MY HEART . . . .

For many years, I've lived my life taking care of everyone else, making sure that they are happy, and spent enormous time showing them that I loved them.  I am glad that I was able to do that then and now. 

It's important to me now to show myself all those things now. I've ignored me for so long , that it took a long time to get me back.

I stopped the smoking thing, but won't lie, at times I miss having a cigarette, shopping for new clothing because of the weight gain. I am loving the shopping and the new look with hair and all.  My skin looks wonderful and having extra money feel so great!  Thank You Lord!

I am still getting to know me, so I am not looking for a relationship. 

Life is so very beautiful when you put God first.

The hardest thing for me was starting a new life after a separation from a spouse, but my journey to get where I am now was a struggle, but the Lord carried me through the rough mountains, high hills, and high waters. Thank you Lord for keeping me from drowning, boosting me up the mountains when climbing them, and walking over the high hills. You made this journey a distance memory for me, but remembering the most important part. Man will leave me .   .   . but God has never left me nor forsaken me.

Thank You Lord God

AMEN!

FLEETING WANT . . .

I saw this picture today and thought of a person from years ago. I wanted him, but I never told him. and in conversation today he said that he felt the same way, but my head was in other places.

I've known him all my life. Much older than I, but was always there to tell my deepest thoughts of hurts and love from someone else. He always made me feel better about myself and I can truly say that he never tried to take advantage of me. We've kept in touch. we are going to get together later this year on an up and coming holiday. I look forward to it.

funniest thing is that I am not looking for anything. Just a friendship, just the closeness that we often shared. And yes, I do love you in that special way take care of yourself because I am looking forward to seeing you.

Thank You Lord for true friends

Amen!

"BEHOLD. . ALL THINGS ARE BECOME NEW ! 2 Corinthians 5:17

So many things has happen since my last entry. I am a Grandmother of a beautiful little girl, I've acquired an apartment and moving soon to start living my life without the unnecessary drama.

To me, "unnecessary drama" means dealing with just me in my own space, time, and need. No outside drama.

I've also had to keep admitting to myself that I miss so many things about being with my husband, but I do not miss the drugs, lying, and squandering of money on drugs. I don't miss the look in his eyes when the high is over and the shame and hurt overcomes him and I endure the  backlash of his mistakes. Mostly, I don't miss the enabling that I did without knowing that I was doing that.

Through the Grace of God, I am finally finding my place within myself and this world. I don't know what is out there, but I count on the Good Lord to lead me through and I thank Him for believing in me when I didn't believe in me, for pulling me from the deepness of my despair. The darkness that can surround you can be so over whelming and for those who say that they have never been there lies. Everyone's despair is different than the anthers.

Lord I ask you to continue to weed out those so call friends that uses people all in Your Name Dear Lord. Keep me in the safest place within You.

God I thank You for You being You, Loving me in spite of and always being there for me.

In  The Mighty Name Of God,

Amen!