THE END OF 2015 . . . .

In 3 hours and 5 minutes, we will be entering into a new year. The year of 2016.

2014 and 2015 are blurs to me. I've dealt with a lot in both of those years. It is only by the Grace of God that I made it through.

Man has failed me so many times, but God has been ever so faithful. He has never left me, never stop loving me, and has been there in the mist of all my problems. Not once has He hurt me.

 I look for God to do great things in my life in the new year. I am pretty excited for what He has in store for me. I thank Him already. I am just beginning to wear smiles. My self esteem is improving and my mind and heart are healing.   I have only the Lord to thank for that. This year my mind broke from reality. That is a scary thing, but quickly, God snapped my mind back into reality.  Some don't come back from something like that, but I thank God that He saw fit to bring my mind back to reality. Thank You Jesus .. ..  .. Thank You Jesus! How great You Are! Amazing grace how sweet thus sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I am found. Was blind, but now I see!

As I sit here writing this, I think about where I was at the beginning of 2014 through the end of this year 2015, I sit in awe of what the Lord has done for me.

So now with a glad heart, I do not wait for the clock to reach 11:59 P.M. to say good bye to 2015 and for the clock to chime 12:00 A.M.  to say hello 2016. I say it now:

Lord with a glad heart I say Good Bye 2015. You have been

not so good to me. So many, many hurts.  Hello to a new beginning

2016.

Thank You Father God !

Amen!

 

THE BREATHS OF MY LIFE. . . .

Feeling so very uplifted today. The Lord is fixing my cricket paths and too, too narrow roads in my life and setting me on the straight way. Thank You Lord ! It has been a journey. I'm healing emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It feels so good.

I want to live my life fully, peacefully, and drama free. Is this possible? Yes it is. I realize that there will be ups and downs in life, but by the Grace of God I can still have the peace, live drama free, and live life to the fullest even during the ups and downs in my life.

Lord thank You for Your Grace and Mercy, Your understanding of me, and Your acceptance of me. I thank You Lord for loving me in spite of all my imperfections.

In Jesus Christ Name

Amen !

HAPPINESS - PEACE - AND LOVE !

Happiness, Love, and peace. I am thanking God that I finally have that. I was a wreck when I arrived in this new city, isolated from all that I know, but I found peace within myself and the Happiness began to set in. I'm learning how to let go of this control that I always grab hold of and trying hard to let go and let God.

Lord I ask you to help me each day to accept the things that I can not change and the wisdom to know the difference.

I found out a couple of weeks ago that my brother has been very sick and not wanting to burden people about his illness. I also found out that his doctors are giving him 2 years or shorter to live.

Huntington's Disease is a very serious thing. I took care of my father who died of Huntington's 4 years ago. I do not wish this disease on my worst enemy. I also found out that my sister has it too. My brother has reached the the critical stages.

I thank God that i do not have this cursed disease and I pray that it ends in this generation. 

Father God,

Grant my Brother and Sister Peace in this time of their lives. Comfort them, protect them, and let them feel your presence daily.

In Jesus Christ Name.  .  .
Amen!  

RELAXING INSIDE AND OUT . . .

I am relaxing inside and out. Meditating on how wonderful God is.  How He has changed my life and healed me from all of the deep, deep, hurt and anger that I was feeling day in and day out.  

My hurts were so indescribably twisted and it felt as though it was never ending. I had my highs and lows through it all. One while I felt so good. I felt happy, and so complete within myself. Then the crying would take over. I could not understand what was happening to me in this broken state that I was in. 

Slowly God would take the hurt away, the pain, the confusion, and replaced it with love, forgiving, happiness, and peace. So so much peace entered my soul. More importantly forgiveness began to touch me and through that the happiness started building once again.  

Through all of this, the most wonderful thing took place. It was so unbelievably exciting, unexpectedly delightful.  I met an amazing man in Christ who became my best friend. . . who spoke words of healing without criticizing me. Who would whip my tears away and made me laugh more than I have in this year and five months of separation and months of hurting before then.

Our friendship grew with great respect for one another and then love. Yea. . .love. I laugh because it took us both by surprise and it was a pleasant surprise.  

 The Lord has dealt with me about my divorce. That is next on my agenda . No complications to my divorce.  The most important thing is that even if this relationship does not work out. . .. I am able to move forward. I'm okay, but my companion has stated that we are to move forward together.. When he finishes his studies and gets ordained, I hope that my divorce will be finalized And whatever God has for Us. . . .it will be for Us.

 God Bless and 

Good Night. . . . 

WAITING FOR THE CHANGE . . . . .

Only by the Grace of God, I know that my life is getting ready for a change. I was waiting, but it has come to my attention that I should be living inside my blessing, preparing for my new transition, and glowing with the blessing of Gods' favor in my life.

Lord I thank You, I praise You, I glorify You, and I give all praises. 

I do not know how the Lord will bring about what He knows that I need, but it is always amazing to watch how the Lord moves in my behalf. I even enjoy watching how the Lord moves in the behalf of others.

Amazing Grace. . .How sweet thus sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost and now I am found, am blind but now I see!

Thank you Lord for the healing within my body, mind, soul, and spirit. It has been a rough year for me. Never understanding what was happening in my life. The only thing that I know for sure was that my circumstances is by Gods' design. It was all spiritual. As He continues to move with in those areas in my life, I find it amazing that only God could bless me in the areas I needed to be blessed in.

At the age of 55, I am realizing that you have to loose to gain. I have lost everything material, all that I thought was dear to me, but most of all .   .  . I lost myself. That is something that normally happens to younger people. I was preparing for my future, but the Lord has made me realize that it is not all about me, I am not in control, and what God chooses for me is far more better than anything that I choose and have chosen in my life.

It may appear that I am rambling tonight, but I can assure you that I am not :). 

Thank You Lord for allowing me to be here another day. I ask that you continue to allow my Guardian Angel to watch over me through the night. . .protecting this household from all hurt and danger. . .in the mighty name of Jesus. . .

Amen. . .

FOR MY LORD AND SAVIOR. . . .

THANK YOU LORD FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME!

 

LIVE. . . .LOVE. . . .LAUGH. . . . .!

We are already in the month of June. Wow! Time is flying and at times I am so unaware of it moving swiftly. 

I've have be doing a lot of thinking, praying, and just staying to myself. I haven't answered calls from my friends or email. All I want to do is just sit and feel the presence of the Lord!  I need God to direct me to my next step. Where does he want me to live?  Will I have enough money to make sure that where I go is affordable? And last , but not lease. . . .Help me Lord to deal with this fear that seems to swallow me up. I want to Live! I want to travel to different places visiting friends and just be free.

I want to Love again! That includes trusting a good man this time. I don't know if I will ever marry again, but I do want to meet a nice Godly male friend and fall in love again. 

I want to laugh again! I miss my crazy , loud, funny laugh that I have. I see it coming and I am welcoming it back into my life. 

I'm going to keep saying to myself:

A Psalm of David.

1The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

 Amen. . .Amen. . . and Amen!

 

LISTENING TO MY OWN HEART .. .. .. .. .. ..

The hope that I use to have is slowly building again.
My life will be better than it was before. My blessing is on the way. I feel it in the atmosphere, sometimes filling up every corner.

Thank You Lord God. Thank you for giving me a forgiving heart, and mending my heart so that I can love again. I never thought that I could ever say that again. 

So many people give me advice. Some say God says one thing and my heart pulls to another way. God you know my desires. I follow you by listening to my own heart where You speak to me. I ask You Lord God to lead me and direct me.  bless my finances and set me in a home that is wonderful, Restore Lord better than what I lost, In Jesus Precious Name.

Amen  

A THURSDAY THOUGHT .. .. .. .. ..

For the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of time in my bedroom thinking, thinking, and just thinking. I guess that includes wondering about things Lol Lol. 

I am amazed at how much time that has past since being here, but I trust in the Lord and realize that He never gave me a time frame on how long. I never asked. I always expect the now. 

The Lord clearly states for us to wait on Him. I know that when I wait, I Do Not  go through the drama. When I don't wait for God, my life becomes a demolition field of mistakes, regrets, and hurts.  I'm too old and too tired to continue down that path.

Although I have gain wisdom through those mistakes, I've realized that the older I get, the harder it is for me to rebound.  Lord the rebounds are wearing me out. My tactics are so old.

I realize that everyday is not full of roses, but I want the peace in the valley, the happiness within myself and the love growing endlessly inside and around me. 

Father God,

Thank You! Thank You for your Grace and Mercy. 

Thank You for your Forgiving heart. Teach me

Lord how to forgive myself. I noted that when I 

can not forgive myself, it takes longer for me to

move forward. I allow the enemy to invade my mind and

that is not what You want for me nor I for myself

Protect me Lord from hurt, harm, and danger.

Continue

to surround me with endless love and your presence

continuously. I ask that you remember my sister

Dear Lord.  Camp your Angels around her and protect her.

Give her a clear mind Lord and protect her from the wilds of  the

enemy.

In Jesus Christ Name

Always giving You the Praise, the Glory, and the 

Honor. . . .

Amen!

  

LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY .. .. .. ..

It's already Wednesday, just 2 days before the weekend. Time is moving fast. I have been considering not moving home. The only difference is that I do not know anyone here and have not had the opportunity to meet anyone my age.

Right now I see some good in me being here without all of my family. The Lord knows that I tend to take on more than I can handle without His will being considered or asked about. One of my many faults (smile). I continue to seek Him on what He would have me to do.

I have been reaching up in prayer about my health. I am praying that the Lord heals my body. I've made a mental list of some of the things I desire to do here or at home. I want to take a dance class, dibble in photography, take an art class, visit some friends living out of state, and some other things. I am looking forward to doing those things, along with spending more time with family even if I have to travel home to do so. I want to enjoy life and to capture some of the life I allowed others to steal from me.

I am smiling more. I catch myself smiling or laughing more. I like that and I thank God for the many smiles. I find myself wanting to be alone and I won't pick up the phone to call anyone. There are times I let the phone just ring and won't return calls right away. I need this time to heal completely. I don't want the superficial healing that we as Christians sometimes want, I want the complete healing of forgiving others, myself, healing of my Spirit man, my Soul, mind, my body, and mental health.  I want it from the inside first to the outside. Some think that it can't be done, but it can. You have to let go and let God touch those places that only He can dwell. 

Father God,

You created me and you know what

I need in my life. I ask for you to

come in and heal in all the areas that

I have listed. I ask that you make me stronger

mentally and physically to enjoy life to

the fullest, but most of all Lord, help me

with my calling. Send me to the people you

have awaiting your word to help me understand

and develop the calling you have entrusted me with.

In Jesus Christ Name

Amen. . . .

MY GOD IS A GOOD GOD. . .

Every day I fight to keep my sanity. Sometimes it alludes me and I find myself in search for it again. Although I am pretty much at peace with myself, I have those moments where I get lost.

I thank God for keeping me. I thank God for letting me wake another day to get it right. and most of all, I thank God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon me.

INNOCENTS . . . . .

So much innocents in this commercial. Each time that I watch it, I stop whatever I am doing to watch this innocent baby with the sweet smile discovering a new thing in this world. Eyes looking amazed at the feel of a nice warm bath, the smile that shows the enjoyment, and the hands reaching up to  capture her own toes. Oh the joy of what she is feeling.

When was the last time we as adults have encountered that? We are so wrapped up in everything that it takes away from our lives the potential to discover or to rediscover life.

Well my friends, I've decided to start feeling the new discoveries of life. I've been making a list and I will be checking it off as I've accomplished each thing. I want to feel that innocence in discovering new things. I want to feel the excitement of a child as I begin to plan my adventures.

Try it my friends if you haven't start doing it already. Let God lead you and make a mark on the world in His Glorious Name.

Be Blessed and enjoy the Video. 

Vee

ALL SMILES . . . THANK YOU LORD !

A WONDERFUL WAY TO START A DAY . . . .

I ran across this sticker one morning and I felt so wonderful. It's so good to know that when you give everything to the Lord, He's handling things in your behalf. Taking a deep breath every morning and letting him clear the way for me is so reinvigorating! I can't even explain to anyone how that feels even if they have gone through any bad situation. Why? Because all of us interprets everything differently. We are all uniquely created and God recognizes that in His creation of us. That is so wonderful, refreshing, and absolute. 

Within the last year, my life has taken a great turn. Everyone has had their opinion in what I should and should not do. Thank You for the advise.  .  . if it wasn't biblical it went out of the other ear. If you were a married man or woman scoping around calling other women or men behind your spouses back, it went right out the other ear.

The Lord has expressed to me that it is okay for me to love my husband but to also move forward. It is okay for me to continue to pray for his soul and my own and most of all, it is okay for me to   not want to marry again because I have one living husband. I do not want to marry or get into any relationships, sleep with any other man or see them in a possible light as anything other than a friend. Most of all, If you are married don't call me unless you are in the presence of your wife. Any spouse that calls another person behind a spouses back is wrong.

Taking a deep breath now. . . I'm Happy! Happy in letting the Lord handle my problems. Jesus I must admit that my shoulders were weakening under the strain. I am happy to let go and let the Lord pave my future. The song says "He holds our future."  I have no idea where I am going, how to get there, and what is needed (in the natural) to get there. Most of all, I am happy that I have separated myself away from those who are negative. God is a Positive God! HE SPECIALIZES IN THE IMPOSSIBLE! I may not be beautiful to anyone else. . .but I am so wonderfully happy that He sees me beautiful inside and out. .  .  .

 Thank You My Heavenly Father!