MY OLD LIFE

This morning upon waking up, there was a slight moment that I did not know where I was or what I was suppose to be doing. I realized that my time is coming to an end at the residence that my husband and I shared. 

The bitter sweet memories of the good and the bad times in this house for five years set in and I began to cry.

I cried because through all of what we have been through, I still love him.  I cried because of the insignificant way he treated me when there was not a cause to do so and I cried because this week will mark the end of what I knew for five years with him. I've never been treated so shabbily by someone who profess to love me. . . who was my husband who said to the Lord that he would cherish me. It's only by the Grace of God that I am able to function through this time. I think about my parents and I am so grateful that they are not alive to see me go through this; even though at this time I need my mother to hold me and my dad to tell me that it's going to be okay.

I thank the Lord for my Sister. I would not have a place to stay if it weren't for her. I've lost (material) everything behind this man. EVERYTHING and now I feel like he's taken away my self-esteem, the pride in who I have become as a woman, and at this moment (which won't be forever), my ability to function without what he has done entering into my brain from time to time.

I pray and I pray and I know that God hears me. I know that he will deliver me and that there are better days ahead for me.

Serenity Prayer

God,

  grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

I love You Lord! You have never failed me or let me astray. I've been in deep waters so many times but you have provided me refuge to not drown, holding my hand seeing me through.

I know that you are with me.

Veronica