GOD'S PROMISE. . .

This morning I was led to read Isaiah 40:1-31. Very uplifting to me. Sometimes I feel as though God has forgotten me, but he hasn't. I find myself clinging to His presence. He may withdraw it for a while, but He's still there. That's when our faith comes into play. . .knowing that even if you don't feel Him, you know He's still there with you.

As I was driving this morning, I thought to myself that I wish that I could just keep going and wherever my car stops or take me, it would not be far enough:) away from my problems, my hurts, or my not understanding of so many things. Then reality steps in and you think . . . .The things I am going through is like a heavy baggage that I am carrying around with me and I have to take it with me everywhere until I am completely unpacked.

Forgiveness is a funny thing. We think that we forgive people until God surely steps in and show you that you haven't really done that. I've decided that every day when the thoughts of my husband comes to my mind, I will say I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you! I figure that if I say it long enough meaning each time, I will truly get there.

I miss the presence of my husband and some of the good things we shared, but I don't miss the hell that I went through with him. Then I thought. . . .if you take a whole pie and use a tablespoon to scoop out a portion to eat is how much of the good times that I remember. The rest was full of his drug addition, his thirst of infidelity, and his abandoning me. More hurts than good memories. I'm blessed that I am not in that any more. The constant threats from drug dealers, the lack of money, the constant lies, and always wondering if he is alive and okay when he's out in the streets getting high.

I'm blessed that I am here through all of that. God covered me and that I will always remember. He is still covering me.

The Lord always says to me "Be still and know that I am the Lord thy God!"  That will always be enough for me.

Thank You Lord!

Vee

CLOSED DOOR. . . .

Through all that I have endured and still enduring, I find myself sifting through some of the rubble that still plague me. I am still letting go of so many things and closing doors that I seem to let remain open.

I love this picture. I see it as a closed door, sealed by the blood of Jesus; meaning God shut the door for me and sealed it so that I can not open it again. I'm selling furniture that my husband and I bought together. Why? I opened the storage door and all the memories rushed to the forefront depressing me. I want to rid myself of any reminders of him. As friends came by with invites to my storage unite, buying the items I had wanted to get rid of, I began to feel the heaviness lift from me. CLOSING DOORS! 

I always said that I am too old to start over again. No I'm not. I welcome the new start:). I will be 55 next month. For a change I welcome this New Adventure with God leading the way.

Today I finally committed to something new. I joined a new church. It felt so wonderful, so refreshing, so right. I felt that I finally belong after I had been feeling that I don't belong anywhere. I have been broken before God, before man, and within myself. I understand now that before God can take you to a high depth, You have to be broken so that he can breath life back into "dry bones." More Humility is what I feel now. 

A newness so overwhelming. I am admitting that sometimes I want to strike back because the hurt is still there, sometimes I want to do the wrong things to fight back. This battle is not mine, it's the Lord's. I have to remember that No weapon formed against me shall prosper and to go about God's business with joy is what I have to do for myself. Pleasing God is what I want now and the only way to do that is to Close  Open Doors. . . .So that the Lord can open new ones for me.

Father God

I thank you for the Closed Doors. I may not understand completely why

 you close particular doors in my life, but I am trusting You and 

Your infinite wisdom. I have faith that wherever you lead me it is

for the good of me that love You and called according to

Your purpose.

AMEN!

THE CHANGE IS HERE!

You often hear church members sing "My God is a good God," and others will echo "Yes He Is."

Such a beautiful and true statement in this song! In my own experiences with God, I can tell you that He is sweeter than Candy Kisses, more loving than anyone can ever love, and more forgiving than the vastness of the sea he created.

I wake up with a smile on my face knowing that God has my back and it's been prophesied that my change is here ready to manifest itself.

As Phil Collins sings. . . I can feel it in the air . . . . I am back home with the Lord where I belong and not venturing into darkness again.

I had once said to my husband that the world is becoming an ugly place with all the bad things going on and that I have found myself smack in the middle of the ugly. Today I can truly say that the world that God has placed me back into is so beautiful, peaceful, loving, and wonderful. Every day is not a bed of thorn less roses, but I am living pretty close to thorn less.

Thank You Lord for loving me.
Thank You Lord for giving me another chance to get it right.
Thank You Lord for pulling me out of the darkness into Your "Marvelous Light." If I had a thousand tongs It will not be enough to Praise You and give You all  the Glory for my deliverance.

Romans 8:28

And we know that ALL things work  together for the good of them

that love God, who are the

called according to HIS PURPOSE!

AMEN!  AMEN! and AMEN! 

DID I TRULY UNDERSTAND?

Somewhere deep in my mind, I often know something, but forget to put what I know to practice. I allow the enemy to gain footholds in my life and allow chaotic-mess to dwell.  I did not understand that God gives us the power to defeat the enemy, so therefore I did not use the "Whole Armour" of God to defeat him.

A small number of things that I  knew and did not apply  to my life:

I felt that I did not fit in my husband's world, nor he in mine:
   I understand now that God has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light.

I did not need my husband to affirm who and what I am:
   I understand now that I am one of the chosen generations. . . A royal priesthood.

I allowed myself and my husband to believe that I could not make it without him:
   David said to the Lord, I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed
   begging for bread. I have to keep my eyes centered on the Lord because all my    
   help cometh from the Lord who made heaven and earth.

         
I did not need my husband to tell me how beautiful and smart or wonderful I am, nor need him to make me feel that I am a woman.

   Well the Word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that he knows what's best for me. My husband doesn't know and unless God tells me,
I don't even know.

"Did I TRULY UNDERSTAND?"

NO I DID NOT!

I lost sight of my relationship with God. I thank you Father God that it was not to late for me to get it right!

SHHHHHHHhhhh!

It's June already. The months are moving faster for me now. At one time the hours, minutes, and seconds dragged on and on. Now I am at a brain fog. A fog of overwhelming peace. Just enjoying the time spent with God, my Sister, and her dog.

 I am not on autopilot any more. I'm doing things again slowly. Lord. . . Every since you touched me on Sunday Morning, I am still spiritually high from the touch.

I feel so new inside and shudder when someone breaks into my world to talk to me. I just want to maintain that calm, peaceful feeling that has camped around me. I feel your eyes Lord on me (GLORY!) Watching and letting me know that you are here with me.

In my heart (although everything is not completed), it will be done. You are in control now and I have nothing to worry about.  It feels so good. I am at the point where I smile again, act silly again, and it's a new me because of the true difference I feel within myself. All the Praises go to you Lord! I was too weak in spirit, I was broken inside and out, but when I took the broken pieces to you. . . . You started to put them together slowly for Your use Lord, for my soul and spirit. You blew a fresh breath (the anointing) onto my "dry bones" and gave me renewed life.

As they say . . . . . If I had a thousand tongues,  I still could not Praise You enough!

Thank You Lord for the emergence. The new creature that YOU are creating inside the Potter's House.


Thank You Lord God! Thank You for your mercies, your kindness, and most of all your Love. . . .

AMEN!

Veronica