AM I TALKING ABOUT YOU?

I'm thinking to start blogging more on this site. My original objection was to shed some light on the way people place mask on their feelings (faces) and I've found myself doing again the very thing that God delivered me from. It may get a little stuffy and frankly I do not care. We can not please everyone, but remembering also that everyone can not please you (me).

One thing that I have learned this year is that you can not change people. Only God can. I have to except people for who they are OR walk away. Preferably leaving them right where they are and hopefully that won't be in my home or in my car LOL LOL.

Another thing that I have learned is that no one is perfect. If you are talking in terms of the bible, then your perfection only means "mature in the Word of Christ" (living as close to his word as you can because it has become a standard for you). Other than that, the word pefect is only in your vocabulary. It is not a discription of who and what you are, so one must sorely get over oneself. Feeling that you are perfect is egoism.

To my Christian Brothers and Sisters. . .You are not the only one who knows God. You are not the only one that God deals with. One thing that I have found is that God can not use you when you are to high and thinking you are mighty. Whatever happened to the words humble and meek? If my memory serves me right, the scripture says that All have sinned and fall short of the Glory Of God. Romans 3:23. Be careful. Be very, very careful or you will fall hard. God has a way of humbling you. Your dancing in church won't get you to the gates. Your Sunday School knowledge won't get you to the gates, and your fine rags won't either when your heart ain't right. Remember Mark 9:35. You desire to be first and so you will be last. There is a lot of meaning in that scripture. Do not be to eagar. . .Be sure of God and your salvation!

In closing. . . I am who I am. Changing always by God's Hand. I can be the best friend that you can ever have. Don't abuse me, don't mistreat me, and by all means be as true to me as I will be to you.

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2007. . . .

RESOLUTIONS are often made starting the mid-month of December up until January 1. Have I made any 2007 resolutions? NO! I've decided to take the things that are more obvious in life and apply them to the rest of my life. Most of the obvious things are moral and character builders. The things that define who and what I am. I would understand if some would say hey those are resolutions. Trust me, they're not (smile). I call them common sence things, life lessons, and morale obligations that we as humans should have toward one another. Some of the things I am talking about are Respecting myself more and demanding respect from others. Never letting the moment slip by to correct a person who steps out of line with me. Holding steadfast in the values that I believe in and letting NO ONE deter me from what I believe. And then there are the healthy eating, excersising, and keeping my weight at 195. Believe me at 195 I will look so durn skinny but it will allow me to fluctuate to 205 without it showing to much. Right now I am 207 and a quarter.

I feel that a lot of good things will happen for me in this coming year and for some reason, I look forward to 2007. I haven't been in a relationship at all in the last 3 years or more and I feel that this will change. I took time out to find me and I have. Now I can offer someone special me and not all the baggage that travels behind me. But do understand that I want the same from the other person. It is something wonderful in saying that "I feel free to be me!" and to mean that. I know what I want and what I want in another individual. I do not plan to hang around long if we don't complement each other. Remember complement and not compliment. The two words sound alike, but has different meanings (smile). Thought to add that in (smile). If I haven't blogged before 2007, I wish for you prosperity in this new and coming year, best wishes, and heartfelt love. I wish you a Very Happy New Year!

WORDS AND DEEDS. . . .

I often wonder if people actually consider what they say or the actions that they take before hand. Some how . . . I don't think so. I wonder at times do people consider that once words or said (rather good or bad) or the actions are put into play, that you can not take it back. Once again. . .I don't think that they understand. Words are a weapon that may elevate a person or destroy them. Deeds can do the same thing. God says that life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. ( Prov. 18:21) You must choose your words carefully because once words are release it could scare a person for life or it could change the future course of an individual (good or bad) for life. Has anyone ever given thought that God will render to every man according to his Deeds (Romans 2:6)? People are accountable for the deeds done to others and to themselves and to God. If everyone would give credence to that fact, the world would be a whole lot better to live in. God Bless and have mercey on the friend, the family member, and the enemy for deeds that are not honorable before God and words spoken that are hurtful to people. We always reap the seeds that we sow (Galatians 6:7).

IS IT WORTH IT?

Today my son and I were having a conversation about a lot of the crime that's going on this holiday season. My son dropped a bomb on me when he told me that a friend of his had a cousin in the hospital with staples in his head because someone stabbed him in the head and stole his Ipod that he had just purchased for a Christmas Gift. Ooooookay! We know that an ipod will run you about $300.oo or more depending on what features that it offers. If a crackhead stole it, he'll have a nice high behind it. If someone needs to add money to pay rent, that is almost the amount of rent needed to make a rent for the month (unless the fool is behind). If a person was hungry, he'll damn sure eat real good for a while. But at any rate. . .did the person who stole the ipod have to stab the victim in the head? Was the Ipod worth that much to him? If he gets caught he'll have to pay for the crime. If the victim dies, he's in more trouble that the ipod is worth. I don't think that anyone would purchase him one while he's in prison. That would be a whole lot of whip- ass just waiting to happen to him unless someone stabs him to take it (which would be a what goes around comes around situation). Keep the victim in prayer. From what I understand if he wakes up out of his coma his life will never be the same. His speach will be impaired and he may loose some motor skills along with some cognative abilities. I will ask again. . . WAS IT WORTH IT?

THE HOLIDAY TIME IS HERE. . .

Well everyone, we are at that special time of the year where we celebrate Christmas. The reason for this celebration is JESUS, the greatest reason for the season. Christmas did come very fast to me this year. I haven't completed my shopping, but I am always that last minute shoper every year. Never knowing what to buy and picking over items wondering if a person would like this or like that. I'll get my shopping finished. I always do and my gifts are well liked.

This year did fly by on me and I think that I may be speaking for a lot of people. The year 2006 is soon to arrive. For the new year, there are still a lot of open doors. The war in Iraq is one of those open doors. Our country has a lot of brave young men and women in the war zone and in strategic areas outside the war zone away from family and friends. We
have to keep them all in prayer and we must believe that this door will be closed very soon.

Today. . .in the very early morning. . .a door was closed. The execution of Tookie Williams. My hope is that with all the work that he has done will encourage other people not to join gangs. I hope that his work will not be in vain. Well tomorrow is another day and another dollar. Have to get some sleep. Catch you on the next go around.

HOW TIME FLIES. . .

I was thinking earlier today and realizing that this year is ending on a very quick note. We are almost at the mid- month mark, not to mention that Christmas is approaching very fast. We all know the next number. . . 2006! I haven't made any resolutions and I probably won't. We all know that most of us stick with our promises to ourselves and to others for a short while and then we are back to our old ways and sometimes we are even worse than we were before the resolutions were made.

I do plan on getting back into the dating scene. I took 2 years out to discover some major things about myself. I like Me and Me knows what she wants. I'm 46 years old now. All the things that I thought I wanted in a relationship was not what I needed. Low self-esteem will cause a person to venture into relationships that are unhealthy. Thank God that He has pointed me in the right direction about me. I can assure you that when you find God you find you. All the trivial things in life are not important any more. You began to see the inside of a persons heart first. You began to search for the Spirit of God in their hearts. That's the most important thing. All else will fall into place becuse God will make sure of that. Well enough for now. Catch you on the next post. Please remember that God IS real love.

THINKING. . .

For a time now, I've been thinking (like the most of you have) about the number of storms passing through the Gulf Area and the Eastern Side of the United States. There have been land slides and wild fires in California. Although these things have happened in other countries, my mind looks at the United States. I have always considered our country "THE LAND OF MILK AND HONEY." Are we being punished by God for mans mistreatment of the world being in the condition that it is in? Are we paying for invading an area with war or are we being put to a test to show that Charity begans at home (state, city, towns, government, and nation) first then spreads abroad?

Just think of the billions of dollars that we are pouring out for natural catastrophies right here in our own country. We won't add what the price of this war is costing the United States. Money being taken away from our own country. We have much to think about. My prayer is that God will have mercy on our country and bring us once again out of all this misfortune into a better place that we can be proud of.

CATCHING UP. . .

It's been a lot going on since I last blogged. A friend has passed away, I've been under the weather, and work has been a little more than I expected it to be. I grow tired more than I use to. I guess that is understandable and I know that time will improve all situations. I've been thinking about getting away in November. I am going to stop in to see my brother in the process. I need a small break away from everything. It would be nice to travel to some far away exotic place. That's money and money I do not have yet. To everyone in the Gulf Coast. . .Watch out for the storm. Find somewhere safe to be. God Bless!

SOCIETY. . .

I'm not a 100% today. I still have my bad times, but I have to remember that I am almost 2 months post-op. I can't complain because I am doing very well. I'm back at work and doing most anything that I want to do without getting too tired or stressed out. Most people that I talk to did not fair this well with that type of surgery. In fact I just lost a friend who had the same surgery that I had. She died from complications and not from the actual surgery. She was only 35 yrs. old and left behind a husband and 2 beautiful daugters. Did her death bother me? YES! It could have been me. The thought of that bothered me.

My thought is that society is so hell bent on the weight issue. It makes people sometimes go to the extreme to fit the norm. What is the norm? If you are anywhere between 50 to a 100 lbs over your idea weight, then you are considered obese. What does obese mean and who created that word? Well let's see. The word obese in the Webster Dictionary means excessively fat. It stems from the Latin word obesus and it is considered an adjective. Rightly so because it is discriptive. I could not find who created that word. Probably some doctor in a labratory stuffing some poor rat with some food.

So why did I decide to have the surgery? I did it for health reasons which is working out for me more than I could have ever imagine. The benefites of living a longer healthier life outweighs anything that I could have hoped for. It is just fortunate that I get all of the added advantages with it. A slimmer me, a happier me, and a more satisfied with myself me. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. Fat people are not real happy people. We shy away from society and we are not too confident in ourselves. I know cause I have been there and I am still here with it until all the weight is off of me. Lets just face it. . .people are so cruel. Adults and children alike are cruel. Children learn to be cruel because their Mothers and Fathers are the cruelist people they know, but have you ever notice that society in a whole are cruel people?

My neighbors think that I am sick because the weight is dropping off. I see them staring at me. I guess they feel sorry for me. Sorry enough that the morons cut my grass for me. They've even started acting like real people LOL LOL. Another added benefit right? I've called the Law on them almost every 3rd day. Would you cut my grass? If that is not the reason, then I have to say that God has touched their hearts:).
Have a Bless Day!

INVISIBLE ME

I often wish that I had the ability to become invisible. Maybe in the form of some insect. . . A spider suspended from a ceiling in a dark corner, behind some old box. Or maybe invisible in the way of dust lightly coving furniture. Just forgotten for a long space of time.

I often wish that I can go away on a long vacation, in a cabin facing a creek. Not one person in sight. . . . just the signs of the fall creeping in. A slight chill in the air, leaves showing a hint of color and the grass turning to that awesome shade of wheat.

There are so many things that I wish for. It's never much. I never ask for the great things in life. They have never been that important to me. The smaller things always mean so much. When you're invisible, you can't be found. You're exempt from the hum-drum of life and all it's complications that others want to bring to your world. DRAMA!

DEVASTATING. . .

It is a bad situation in New Orleans. The people need so much help. I do not see how New Orleans can be salvaged. Just viewing the pictures made me feel so helpless. What I am able to send will not be enough to help. It is not the idea of loosing everything that you own, because material things can somehow be replaced (most of the time it is with better things), but you cannot replace a life.

The sad thing about the whole situation is that if these people are not evacuated to a safer place quickly, more lives will be lost from diseases. There is so much in that water surrounding the city that you do not want to think about what it can do to the children and the adults there.

You can not help but feel deeply for them. I ask that God move quickly in this situation and bless the people of all the areas that have been devastated by the storm. Let everyone send something to the Red Cross to help them. We should all pull together to help. Didn't other nations benefit from the U.S. when their countries were in devastation?

RANDOM THOUGHT. . .

This is not a good day for me. This trying out different foods to see if they agree with your stomach or not. I am learning hard that food is not an enjoyment anymore. It is just for nurishment. Some of my friends state that after about a year things will somewhat change. I wonder:)? Just keeping the nurishment going is sometimes a chore when I am able to keep the food down.

School where I live started today. I heard the early morning buses moving about for the elementry and middle schools. I was able to see the high school students loading the bus this morning. The neighborhood looks very empty. I do not know why they started the school year up on a Thursday. As late as they have school starting up this year, they should have waited until after Labor Day. Who understands the minds of our politicians? I made a promis to myself a while back to not understand, but to somehow except some things that they pass into law. Do we have a choice?

TOMORROW IS NEVER A PROMISE . . .

Sometimes we take our lives for granted. We think that when we close our eyes at night it is a guarantee that we are going to wake up the next morning with a fresh beginning. That is not always the case. Yesterday I found out that a very good friend of mine died at the age of 35 yrs. old in her sleep. So very young. She leaves behind 2 young daughters, a husband, and a ministry that the Lord has blessed her and her husband with. This death bothered me greatly. One, she died from complications from a gastric by-pass surgery. A surgery that I have just undergone one month ago. Two, she was very young, and three, I've known her for years. We learn as we travel through this life and the one lesson that I am learning is that you have to be careful how you live your life. You must repent every bad thing that you have done to others or to yourself as every minute ticks by. If you do not, you may never get the chance to do so because TOMORROW IS NEVER A PROMISE.

I also have a friend that died last month. Just four months prior to her dying, I held a long conversation with her at our local Wal-Mart. 27 yrs. old with a heart condition. She was waiting on a heart for a transplant. Man I tell you. . . Whoever said that life is too short to be kidding around knew what they were talking about. How serious are you living your life? Who have you offended and never cleared the offence before going to bed. I know that I will be careful about what I do and what I say to people. I will be careful to repent at the very moment that God shows me that I have done something that is offensive to myself or to others and as I take one day at a time living my life, I will make sure that I take what I do serious and make a difference in the lives of others and my own life. I challenge you to do the same!

OF A GOOD REPORT. . .

Today marks one month since my surgery. I can not say that this journey has been an easy one. I've only coped with so much because the Grace Of God has been with me all the way through this. I do not recommend this surgery to anyone who does not have a made up mind to follow dietary instructions to the letter. You must have a made up mind and know that most things that you enjoyed eating will not be a part of your menu any longer. It is wise to decide what is more important to you in the long haul. I am speaking about health issues.

Yesterday, my day started out uneventful. I was waiting on pins and needles for my l:40 P.M. appointment. I had so many questions to ask my doctor and I was wondering had I lost any weight since my last visit. I did good. 7lbs in a 2 week period. not bad, but most important is that my stats were very good. I am able to wean myself off of so much protein in my diet because I am getting a substantial amount from other sources. My doctor states that I am doing great and that I need to up the annie on my food intake. No one has ever told me that before LOL LOL. I can only thank God for the good report. I do not have to see any of my doctors until October unless there is a problem. I hope in the two months between seeing either of them, I will loose more than 7lbs. with my health even better than the last visit. That is my goal.

DEALING WITH NEIGHBORS. . .

When we move into homes, we don't have the luxury of choosing who our neighbors are going to be. You may be fortunate enough that you may get a good-neighbor, but if you are like me, you get the bad-ones.

In a conversation today with my neighbor, I discovered that as the head of her household, she has no control. I hate the things that her friends, her children (grown unemployed sons), and her other family members that do not reside with her do to my property, but I must say that I feel sorry for her. You work hard, pay bills, and feed unemployed grown sons and you have no control over your home? Give me and everyone else who lives around you a break. Be nice and give those sons a 30 day notice to leave. Be nice and tell your other family members and friends that if you can not respect my resident and the residence of my neighbors, stay home! Stop making excuses for not doing the right thing.

If you live upstairs in an apartment syle building, stop making all that noise for the people who live below you! THAT AIN'T RIGHT! If you live beside a person in a building that is an apartment, stop making all that noise disturbing your neighbors. You don't live in this world alone. People like you and my neighbors need to live somewhere in a cave like most morons do.

How you conduct your home discribes who you are. If you have no order in your life then your life will be chaodic for you and anyone around you.

So I say this to anyone who has been or is being a bad- neighbor. . .give your neighbors a break, get yourself some self-respect and do the right thing. . . BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR! This concludes my ramps and rages for today LOL. Time to move on LOL LOL. Until the next time. . .

THE NEW ARRIVAL . . . .

It's sometimes hard to find people who like to blog. They don't often understand the logic of blogging. Some people may consider it to be "not their cup of tea." I find it to be exciting. Of course you are going to be careful of what you write about to some degree, but for some it does not matter. They speak their minds no matter what for the whole world to see. I admire them.

Today a friend of mine is blogging on this website and I want to say to him welcome to blogspot where you can express your ideas, Gods truth, and His wisdom. You can even express your truths, your travels in this world, and anything else you may want to express. Welcome Elder!

ISAIAH 52:1

There are two words in the begining of this verse that should catch the eye. God says two times the word AWAKE! awake! I did just that today. I got out of self ( moving toward a pitty party), held up my head in confidence knowing that God had something out there for me. I had a need and you know what, I did get a blessing in my obedience. My need was met.

Sometimes we can be in a fog like state and miss our blessings and I almost did that. Thank you Lord for meeting my need.

CHANGES. . .

Last month I had a birthday:). I am happy to say that I am now 46 years old:). One third of my graduating class in high school are decease. The most surprising thing is that they departed this world in their early and mid 20s. Death will make you stop and think. If you have any sense, you would learn to cherrish every moment that you are in this world. Every day that you open up your eyes, you will give thanks to God that He allowed you to have just one more day to do things right. Hopefully making a difference in your life or the life of someone else.

Right before my 46 birthday, I began to notice changes inside of myself. Those changes led me to make a few changes in my appearence. I had my hair cut very short. I began to lose weight and I started focusing in on my health issues. I made a very big decision in my life and decided to have a gastric by-pass. I am now off of a lot of medications and my health is better now than it has been in over 20 yrs. and I am happy to say that the weight is melting away:).

Recently I did a mathamatical estimate of how long that I have lived in this world by hours. If I were to live until the day of my next birthday, the estimate hours that I would live should be 397,440 hours. That is a lot of hours. My only hope is before I reach my next birthday, I want to make a difference in someones life. A true saying is that if you concentrate on someone else for a change, God will concentrate on you because it shows an unselfish act.

Everyone should make changes. Let God lead you into your changes. Please remember that the changes you make should be for yourself and for good reasons. Have a bless day.

LOSING FRIENDS

Have you ever had a friend that claims undying loyalty and when you don't agree with them and their life style the wiggle like worms and disappear like snails with salt sprinkled on their bodies? Well I had a friend just like that. Whatever happened to accepting people for who they are? I excepted her and encouraged her in anything that she felt that was important to her, but when changes came into my life, the worm withered away and disappeared just like that snail like I spoked about earlier. I don't understand people who are cold one minute and hot the next. On the other hand. . .it's not for me to understand is it? I must accept the fact that the friendship that I thought we had is no more. Hey forgiven and time to move on.