FLEETING WANT . . .

I saw this picture today and thought of a person from years ago. I wanted him, but I never told him. and in conversation today he said that he felt the same way, but my head was in other places.

I've known him all my life. Much older than I, but was always there to tell my deepest thoughts of hurts and love from someone else. He always made me feel better about myself and I can truly say that he never tried to take advantage of me. We've kept in touch. we are going to get together later this year on an up and coming holiday. I look forward to it.

funniest thing is that I am not looking for anything. Just a friendship, just the closeness that we often shared. And yes, I do love you in that special way take care of yourself because I am looking forward to seeing you.

Thank You Lord for true friends

Amen!

"BEHOLD. . ALL THINGS ARE BECOME NEW ! 2 Corinthians 5:17

So many things has happen since my last entry. I am a Grandmother of a beautiful little girl, I've acquired an apartment and moving soon to start living my life without the unnecessary drama.

To me, "unnecessary drama" means dealing with just me in my own space, time, and need. No outside drama.

I've also had to keep admitting to myself that I miss so many things about being with my husband, but I do not miss the drugs, lying, and squandering of money on drugs. I don't miss the look in his eyes when the high is over and the shame and hurt overcomes him and I endure the  backlash of his mistakes. Mostly, I don't miss the enabling that I did without knowing that I was doing that.

Through the Grace of God, I am finally finding my place within myself and this world. I don't know what is out there, but I count on the Good Lord to lead me through and I thank Him for believing in me when I didn't believe in me, for pulling me from the deepness of my despair. The darkness that can surround you can be so over whelming and for those who say that they have never been there lies. Everyone's despair is different than the anthers.

Lord I ask you to continue to weed out those so call friends that uses people all in Your Name Dear Lord. Keep me in the safest place within You.

God I thank You for You being You, Loving me in spite of and always being there for me.

In  The Mighty Name Of God,

Amen!