2011 is quickly approaching. I've been wondering what God has for me in the New Year. There are a lot of questions going through my head. Wondering . . . Wondering . . . all the time now.
I wonder if I will have to go through the hell that I went through with my husband in 2011? Only God knows the list and the magnitude of what I endured this year.
I wonder will I be living in the house that I so desire to move to? The house that I am living in now is below standard for anyone to live in.
I wonder if I will finally gain the things materially that I desire? I've worked my butt off to achieve things that never came to fruition because my husband does not have the mental capacity to want anything but a high.
I wonder if my marriage will survive throughout 2011. The road for more than two years has been pure chaos. I've been put through so much, but continued to stay because of love.
Last, but not lease, I wonder if I will have the strength to leave if God grants me permission to do so? It is not easy leaving someone that you love, even when their actions show you that they don't love you.
Lord. . .
I've been a good wife. I've tried to do what is required of me through your teachings. I've honored my husband. I have never been unfaithful to him, and I've desired no one, but him throughout the time that we have been together. My desire Lord is to live a life pleasing to you and for my marriage to be honorable in your sight by the two of us. I do know Lord that this may not always be the case. Two must want what is right before your eyes. No matter what Lord, I will do what you require me to do. I ask that you take away the hatred that builds up inside me, the anger that threatens to over take me, and the sadness that depresses my soul from all the hurts and mistreatment that my husband has taken me through. I know that I deserve better Lord and that is the hurt that sometimes swallows me up. My sadness Lord is that if you release me from this marriage, I can not marry again as long as my husband lives. I have destroyed my own vision when I entered into this union. I have to honestly say that I do not know if this union was ordained by you. If it is not Lord, I pray that you forgive me for my mistake. Forgive me for moving ahead of you and forgive me for not being wise. In Jesus Holy Name . . . Amen!
Your Daughter and Servant in the Lord
Veronica
I've been a good wife. I've tried to do what is required of me through your teachings. I've honored my husband. I have never been unfaithful to him, and I've desired no one, but him throughout the time that we have been together. My desire Lord is to live a life pleasing to you and for my marriage to be honorable in your sight by the two of us. I do know Lord that this may not always be the case. Two must want what is right before your eyes. No matter what Lord, I will do what you require me to do. I ask that you take away the hatred that builds up inside me, the anger that threatens to over take me, and the sadness that depresses my soul from all the hurts and mistreatment that my husband has taken me through. I know that I deserve better Lord and that is the hurt that sometimes swallows me up. My sadness Lord is that if you release me from this marriage, I can not marry again as long as my husband lives. I have destroyed my own vision when I entered into this union. I have to honestly say that I do not know if this union was ordained by you. If it is not Lord, I pray that you forgive me for my mistake. Forgive me for moving ahead of you and forgive me for not being wise. In Jesus Holy Name . . . Amen!
Your Daughter and Servant in the Lord
Veronica
